Sunday, May 30, 2010

Returning to work

It's been cold and wet for a week. And, here I am sipping my hot tomato soup typing this entry.

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Time flies. Even more so when you have a baby/child/kid. I still vividly remember I found out I was pregnant, carrying the bum for months, enduring the pain of labour, giving birth and now 6 months has passed, just like that! The first couple of months was hell, not knowing what to do, how and when to do it. It was full of tears, stresses and depression. Then, gradually, we established a routine and things started to get better. I still get frustrated at times but who doesn't? For someone who hated kids and hadn't handle any baby before, I would like to say it is all normal. I thank Rick for all his patience, putting up with me in addition to handling AJ. Thank you dear for holding my hand along the road.

After being a 24/7 stay home mum for 6 months, I am finally almost done serving my "jail" term. Am returning to work, part time, 3 days a week next Mon. Honestly, I can't wait. I know I will miss AJ, wondering how he is in the daycare, but I myself do need some balances into my life. I am just not a stay-home mum material. I considered myself lucky that my company is flexible enough to cater for my need, a part-time transition period.

So yeah, Mon is THE day! (and I have already planned on what to wear! I'm such a vain pot! LOL)

That was 2 days ago.....

So to commemorate me surviving through the past 6 months, we dined out at No 1 Bistro located the hilltop of Botanic Garden. Yeah, our first time there. It is sad to report, apart from the million dollar view, the food is quite disappointing.

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And, that was yesterday.....

Today, my feeling have had a 180 degree turn. The mix feeling kicked in. There is a sudden surge of reluctance in me about AJ's first day away from me. We have never be separated for more than 3 hours since he was born, and now having to not been able to see/cuddle him for the whole day seems like a mission impossible. I teared. Is he going to be ok? Is he going to cry all day? Are they going to take good care of him and giving him enough attention (I know I shouldn't doubt their professionalism)? What if...this and what if....that...? All sorts of hypothetical questions emerging from my head, one after another.

The first step is always the hardest. This time is for both him and I. I will see how everything goes tomorrow, and am prepare to come home early, to hold that little hands....tight.



Declan Isaac said...

First of all - that bag ! lol u are still keeping it! I had almost forgotten abt that bag :p.

U hv separation anxiety too! haha - i had the same feeling as u did. I cried big time when I left Declan in childcare when he was 2 yrs old.

jezalmy said...

I'm not sure how will I feel if I put my twins at childcare because my mum will help me take care them for daytime all I need is to take care them during night time after I deliver. And my hubby and I already plan stay at my parent house at least twins turn to 4 to 5 months old (after the confinement) then only back to hubby house. Because I scare I can't handle 2 babies at the same times even Brian also feel the same way. Is really not easy job.

Besides, never aware that you already become mum for 6 months already.

emotionalistic said...

I think it's normal for a mum to worry about her matter how old he/she gets. You're gonna be a great mum, for sure ;).

P/s: You slim down so quickly!

oceanskies79 said...

Looks like a time of transition.

Your love for AJ, and your husband's love for both of you will see you through the transition. I believe. :)

keeyit said...

You are just transform from a hot woman to a super hot mum.. hahaha... You really din look like you have give birth le...

tuti said...

echo what keeyit said.

separation anxiety indeed. hope you'll take it better in the days to come.
great husband support!

Doreen said...

Declan Isaac:
Oh yes, I keep every single one of them. Heart pain to throw it away.

You're lucky that you have your parents around to help out. In fact, most of the new mums back there are lucky to have extra pairs of helping hands. We did it all by ourselves (apart from the first 2 months when my parents were here). It was hard, lots of sweat and tears but we are doing well (I think). Can't wait to see your twins! Wishing you a safe and easy delivery.

Hehehe, yes. Am happy to announce that I have got my pre-pregnancy and figure back and let's hope I can keep it that way.

In deed. Love will conquer all!

Thanks keeyit! You're too kind la.

Yeah, time will see me through. It is all about one baby step at a time. Wouldn't be able to do it without Rick.